To the powers above,
I remember March 12th of last year so well, woke up that morning, had a shower, even styled my hair. I asked MSD to make sure he wins the toss at any cost to the BCCI and bat first. He surely obliged and me and Veeru went out to the crease against South Africa full of confidence. The sounds of De Ghuma Ke in the dressing room was still buzzing through my ears as I tore Steyn and Morkel apart. I remember getting to my 99th hundred in style, what a day it had been. Yes, I also remember South Africa won the game chasing 298 to win, but who cares? I was one ton away from the promise land.
Then came that ill fated Semi-Final, coudn't have started any worse. MSD, opened his gob claiming I'm going to get my Hundredth 100 in style against Pakistan. Apparently he was giving me the confidence. News started spreading quicker than Imran Khan's Tsunami video's and we had Shahid Afridi saying he won't let me get there. So I picked up the phone and reminded him that I was Shoaib Akhtar's Baap (father) to which he replied after DNA checks, it's been confirmed Veeru was having a verbal diarrhoea moment. He declared he won't let me and he said he jinxed me forever. BCCI approached Pakistan just before the game started, I thought job was done as catches were dropped of me. The DRS was fixed, I was proud of the BCCI until that same Pathan caught the ball. We won the game and got to the final, which we also won, but I missed my glory.
Came the England tour, I would have casted it a great success if I got that ton, so what if we lost every game. Tim Bresnan got me trapped LBW on 91, the umpire was having a laugh, Im sure that Afridi had rang him. England were so out of order, they celebrated as I mourned my chance.
West Indies were the same, Rampaul being a 'Indian' brother was told to let me get there but had to bowl a Jaffa and have me caught at second slip by the lanky Sammy. How can anyone be so brutal? Totally disheartened I even stopped listening to Kishore Kumar songs.
I was sat at home relaxing when I got a phone call from my son Arjun saying "Dad, Veeru chacha has broken your ODI record by smashing 219 against West Indies. He was dropped by Uncle Sammy and then went on to beat it. Even more he was singing Kishore Kumar songs as he played He..." I cut him off. One Veeru breaks my record, Sammy who denied me the ton in the Windies drops a catch and he uses my formula of singing KK songs? Livid I didn't eat for a whole 23 mins and 5 seconds.
In the last few weeks I approached Younis Khan to take that jinx of me. He just run, blabbering away quickly. I got a email from Hashim Amla who said he was donating his ODI hundred to me, the one against Sri Lanka, though ICC said that's not possible. I even approached (and don't let this out) Shahid Afridi in Melbourne to take back the voodoo and he just laughed and said become a bowler as Indian bowlers always get to hundred runs. I got happy and came back to the hotel, that's when it hit I would be conceding 100's like Ishant and Ashwin do.
Even at home the wifey is not being helpful. She claims its effecting her kitty parties. Arjun says Dad retire, I will do it one day for you. In short, family don't care, BCCI can't buy, Veeru has traited and Afridi has become a black magic maestro. My last alternative is make Dravid don a mask of mine and do it or ask the BCCI to arrange a fixture against Namibia and buy that Levercock at any price.
Sachin Tendulkar, the great
Please do remember: This is a piece based on pure fiction and is made for sarcastic means only. The author is a Sachin Tendulkar fan and wrote it in the humour of the situation. KheloPakistan.com doesn't take any responcibility of any of the contents within the post.
Imran Asghar : Original Source : http://www.khelopakistan.com/451-sachin-tendulkar-a-letter-to-the-powers-above.html